Changeling
by happywanderer2
Summary: Bleach/Naruto Xover. Just when Ichigo thought life might return to something like normal, some strangers and a strange creature appear.  Now he has to deal with the possible return of some old enemies and as well as the changes in his life.
1. Laying The Blame

Changeling

Just when Ichigo thought life might return to something like normal some strangers and a strange creature appear. Now he has to deal with the possible return of some old enemies and as well as the changes in his life.

A mishap during a mission take Kankuro and Miri to a strange place, full of weird monsters, death gods, bratty kids, and a crazy fan-wielding shop keeper. Now they have to finish their mission and find their way home.

Rated at M for the language and some random yaoi-like smut. Miri and some of the bad guys are mine, the rest belong to Tite Kubo and Masashi Kishimoto.

One-Laying the Blame

When it was over and the two strangers were safely on their way home, Urahara turned to Renji. He made a gesture with his fan, almost, but not quite, pointing it at the Vice-Captain.

"Abarai-san, in the future please refrain from serving alcohol to minors. The results are never good."

"I agree completely," Ishida said.

Chad nodded.

Renji's jaw dropped. "This is not my fault!" He whipped his head around, looking for Jinta. "If it hadn't been for that brat…"

Ichigo snorted. "Some Vice-Captain you are, passing the blame onto a little kid."

"Little kid my ass! And besides…"

"Don't be so smug, Kurosaki," Ishida interrupted. He adjusted his glasses. "You should've known better then to go drinking with them. You're still a minor after all, and apparently incapable of holding your liquor."

"I wasn't that drunk, damn it!" Ichigo exclaimed. "Besides, it was…" he shot a sideways glance at Renji and his face went bright red.

Renji grinned. The whole incident had been weird, but there had been one or two bright spots.

I guess the good does sometimes balance out the bad, he thought.

He leaned a little closer to Ichigo. "Heh, yer face is all red, just like a little…"

"Shut the hell up!" Ichigo backed away, putting space between them. "I am not! And this wouldn't have happened if…if…" he whirled around and pointed at Urahara. "If you hadn't left those kids alone with that gate thingy!"

"Yeah," Renji agreed (but softly, he was still a freeloader after all).

"Hmm, perhaps." Urahara tapped his cheek with his fan and meditated on that a moment. "Maybe we should just say it was all due to a series of unrelated events that happened to converge in a certain way. You know what they say…when a butterfly flaps its wings…"

Ichigo groaned and slapped one hand over his face. "Don't say it. Just. Do. Not."

-0000-

Baki flipped through the mission report, watching page after page of Kankuro's elegant writing go by, far too many pages for a one week mission.

"What? Is there a problem? Is something missing?"

Baki looked up. "No, Kankuro, as always, it is complete and perfectly clear. But if I pass this along to the council…well you can probably guess what their reaction will be."

"Are you saying you don't believe us? What the hell, Baki? You know we'd never…"

Baki held up one hand. "I know." He tapped the report. "As far-fetched as this sounds, I know that it is true. However, there are others…"

"Yeah, I can guess who." Kankuro's lip curled into a snarl. "That idiot moron, Ibiki. This is all his damn fault, you know. This stupid mission was his idea and it's his fault that we weren't properly briefed."

"That may be true Kankuro, but still…as it stands now, this report… We cannot just…" Baki sighed and leaned back in his chair.

Just when I thought I'd seen everything, he thought, something new and strange comes along.

"Baki-san, surely you are not suggesting that we alter it? Leave out details, misdirect, out right fabricate."

Baki looked at Miri, trying to determine if she was teasing him; it was always difficult to interpret her odd accent.

"No way, not Baki. He'd _never_ suggest something like that." Kankuro had apparently decided that she was teasing him, because his scowl had changed to a big grin. "Because shinobi _never_ lie. Right?"

"Kankuro," Baki admonished. "Don't start, this is serious. The information in this report is sensitive at the very least and potentially dangerous in the wrong hands. The mission was not of a high enough rank…"

"That's for damn sure! And whose fault was that?"

"Kankuro!" Baki sighed again and rubbed his hand over his face. "Let's leave the issues of credibility and ranking aside for now. What I was originally going to say was: the council is going to question whether or not you completed the mission."

"We sure as hell did! Baki, you can't be telling me this!" Kankuro turned to Miri. "Can you believe this shit?"

Miri made a sound of irritation, Baki was not sure if it was in response to his comment or Kankuro's.

"I am sorry Baki-san, but I cannot quite understand how they would reach such a conclusion," she said after a few moments.

"You did not kill the creature in the end, correct?"

"That is correct."

"Well, that is the problem."

"I suppose it might be…if that had been the mission." She saw the puzzled look on Baki's face and continued, "I believe the wording was something like 'identify the source of the destruction and deal with it accordingly'."

"That's about right."

"It did not explicitly say anything like kill, eliminate, or destroy."

"No." Baki began to see where she was heading.

"The report contains an identification and demonstrates that it is no longer a threat. Therefore, the mission was a success."

"That's damn right." Something occurred to Kankuro. "It is a success! You've read the report Baki, there's no way that creature will be back; technically it doesn't exist anymore."

"That _is_ true. I had not thought of it that way. Very clever Kankuro," Miri said.

"I thought you'd like it. And that's me; brains and good looks." Kankuro grinned at her.

"Hmm, you are rather cute sometimes."

"Cute! Like hell! Don't start with that."

Miri chuckled and flashed him a quick grin. She turned back to Baki. "If you wish, we will present our reasoning to the council. And we are prepared to deal with the issue of credibility." She rummaged in one pocket for a few moments and pulled something out. She placed it on the desk.

"What is it?"

"I am not entirely sure. But you can subject it to any sort of analysis you wish and I am confident that the results will show that it did not originate in this world."

Kankuro poked the object with one finger. "Where did you get this? It looks like a rabbit head on a tube."

"Jinta gave it to me as a parting gift. He said it was popular among the women of Sereitei, so I might like to have it." Miri shrugged. "I have no idea why that would be, but it was a sincere gift. He was even blushing a little. He was a cute little kid."

"Cute little kid my ass. That brat is a menace. It's his fault that we ended up there in the first place."

"His actions did have an impact, but fault is too strong a word, Kankuro. He did not intend for anything to happen. It was more like…"

"Yeah, yeah, don't start with that crap. Two words Miri, that's all it takes to explain it. Shit. Happens."


	2. Almost

Two-Almost

While it might not have been the cause, the beginning (for Ichigo _et al_. at least), could be traced back to the night they went drinking. Renji was not sure whose idea it had been, but it had seemed like a good one at the time. Things were starting to get back to normal, so it just seemed like the right thing to do. The usual group was there: Renji, Kira, Ikkaku, Iba, Matsumoto, and Shuuhei. Matsumoto had suggested that they invite Ichigo and his group.

"We've fought side by side, so now we should drink that way too," she had said.

Ishida had declined, saying that the Shinigami were still his enemies and he did not drink with his enemies. Orihime and Chad had politely refused, saying that they were minors, but Ichigo had joined them. Renji had not thought much about it; it had been a very long time since he had been that age and Rukongai did not have any kind of age restrictions for anything. He had just assumed that Ichigo knew what he was doing; if he was old enough to fight Hollows, Arrancar, Espada, and traitorous Captains, he was old enough to drink.

Things had gone pretty much as they always did; Ikkaku and Iba were in a corner, trying to outstare each other, Kira was passed out and Matsumoto was asleep at the end of the table, head back and arms flung out.

Renji was watching Kira twitch and mumble to himself. Renji grimaced, whatever he was dreaming about, it was not pleasant. They had all been hit hard by the betrayal of the three Captains, but whatever Ichimaru had done to Kira must have been particularly nasty.

"Hey," Shuuhei's voice broke into his thoughts, "you'd better save wonder boy there. He's about to get his ass kicked."

"Huh?" Renji looked over.

He was sitting next to Ichigo, who was next to the end of the table where Matsumoto was. The young human was on his feet, peering myopically down into Matsumoto's cleavage. He was not steady and looked in danger of falling in.

"Hey, whoah there!" Renji leaned forward and pulled Ichigo back by his collar. "What the hell, Ichigo?"

Ichigo sat down with a grunt, frowning. "It's not right!"

Renji raised an eyebrow, the kid was hammered. Somehow, he had always imagined Ichigo would be the type to hold his liquor well. Renji was feeling pretty good himself; he had passed the happy tipsy stage, the slurry stage, and was at the point where he felt almost lucid again. Shuuhei was pretty much in the same place.

"Not right," Ichigo repeated, his voice cracking. He slapped his hand on the table. "There's no way it should stay up like that."

"What're you talking about?"

"Her kosode. When she leans back like that, it should fall open. But no, it just stays there, defying gravity. How's she doing that? It's not right!"

He glared at the offending garment and then realized what else he had been staring at.

"Augh, shit!" he clapped his hands over his face.

Renji could see that the tips of his ears had gone red and could not help but think that it was pretty cute.

"Be happy that it does," Shuuhei said. "Otherwise…" he shuddered.

Ichigo slid his hands from his face, his eyes were wide. "What?"

Shuuhei leaned forward. "Rumour has it that it's a sight to make the most hardened man weak in the knees. Someone like yourself…it would probably burn your eyes right out of your head."

Renji laughed and patted Ichigo on the back. "He's got that right. Most definitely not something a little virgin like you should see."

"Hey! I'm…I'm…" Ichigo spluttered and fumed, but could not produce a suitable comeback, so he settled on folding his arms and glaring at the two Shinigami.

Shuuhei chuckled. "He's pretty cute sometimes. I can see why you like him, Abarai-kun."

"Shut the hell up!" Ichigo shook his fist at Shuuhei. "Wanna have a go? I'll show you cute! I'll kill you until you die from it!"

He turned an even deeper shade of red when the two Vice-Captains roared with laughter.

"Stop that! I'm not cute! And I'm…there's no way you could know…"

When the two older men kept on laughing, he swung his fist at Renji. It smacked into the red head's palm.

"That tickled, are you trying to make me laugh harder?" Renji grinned. He reached out and patted Ichigo on the head with his free hand.

"Don't fuckin' pet me, idiot!" Ichigo growled and tried to swat the offending hand away.

Renji's grin got larger and he patted the spiky orange hair harder. "Just like a puppy sometimes."

"Bastard! I'll…" Ichigo hiccupped and then slapped both hands over his mouth. His face went from red to grayish-green.

"Hey! Don't ya dare puke in here, idiot." Renji rose from his seat and grabbed Ichigo by the back of his shihakushō. "Here, let's get you some fresh air. Be back in a minute, sempai."

Shuuhei nodded, grinning.

That's just like you, Abarai, he thought, a holy terror one moment and a big softie the next.

They returned to their seats a few minutes later. Ichigo still looked a little green and was unsteady on his feet.

"Here, just put your head down for a few minutes, idiot."

Ichigo made a slurry protest, but Renji just pushed him into his chair and then pushed his head down. He kept his hand on the back of Ichigo's neck, kneading until the younger man relaxed.

Shuuhei watched Renji's hand through half-lidded eyes. He knew just how it would feel, calloused, strong, and warm. He realized that it had been a long time since he had felt those hands on him.

Back then I still had a Captain and the proper amount of fear, he was in the 11th squad, and the world was still sane, Shuuhei thought.

"You _are_ rather fond of him, aren't you?"

Renji looked up at the sound of the quiet voice. "I guess. It's hard not to be, really. He's so…"

"Young. And human."

"Yeah, that's so true. He's seventeen, but we were in a whole different place at that age. We age differently and grow differently. And his home is nothing like Rukongai."

"It's nice, huh?"

"It's a good family. Weird, but good." Renji thought about some of the things that he was learning from Urahara. "And maybe not all that different from us." Renji looked down at Ichigo and smiled. Not really aware of it, he reached out and touched the young human's cheek. "In any case, there's no way. He's too…"

Shuuhei sighed. "You're doing it again you know."

Renji pulled his hand away. "Huh?"

"Raising yet another pedestal to put him out of reach. When will you realize your own worth?"

"I uh…" Renji felt a flush climbing over his face. "Well, you know how it is, some of us stay dogs are just slow learners. Easier just to gaze up than jump, I guess."

Shuuhei shook his head. "Renji," he murmured. He could guess who had put that ridiculous idea into Renji's head, but he was not about to say anything against a higher ranking officer.

Renji shrugged and sank back in his chair. Shuuhei sighed and rubbed his hand over his bad eye.

"Are you alright?"

"I'm fine. I'm sorry." He forced a grin. "I'm getting broody in my old age."

Renji laughed. "You've still got a ways to go before you can say that." He looked around. "This was a good idea; feels good."

"Feels almost like normal."

"Almost? Are you sure you're alright?"

"Yes, almost. Don't worry, I'm getting there. It just takes a little longer for some of us."

Renji nodded and dabbed at a puddle of sake with one finger. "It's probably not much comfort, but they fooled everyone. Everyone. Even the old man."

"I know, I know, that's part of the problem. I can't sort out what was meant as misdirection and what was the truth. So much of what he told me has shaped me into what I am now and I don't know how to rid myself of the deception." Shuuhei ran his fingers across the tattoo on his cheek as he thought about it. "Maybe I need to just cast it all away and start from where I was before." He made a derisive noise. "Or maybe I've just had too much to drink."

"Hmm, maybe." Renji murmured. He had become distracted by Shuuhei's fingers as they stroked his cheek and then slid across the bridge of his nose. "So maybe, start back at the day you got that." Renji touched his own nose.

"That _was_ a good day. A _very_ good day…and night."

"It was." Renji grinned. "The next morning was a little rough, though."

Shuuhei made a low noise in the back of his throat, almost a purr. "It's a good idea. Any chance you'd like to help me out with that?" He saw the other man hesitate and waved one hand to dismiss the idea. "I'm sorry. Forget it. I've definitely had too much to drink."

"Don't apologize. It's…" Renji paused chewing on his lip. Then he chuckled. "You know, I've been an idiot, chasing after impossible things while something really good was right in front of me. Sempai, if you want I would be glad to help you out." He leaned forward, letting his voice drop. "As I recall, it will be my _great_ pleasure."

Shuuhei's answering smile made the hair stand up on Renji's neck. "So, let's go and see how much we remember."

-0000-

Ichigo sat up, rubbing his eyes, trying to get them to focus. What he saw made him yelp and he almost toppled backwards out of his chair.

The big shiny grin complemented the shiny bald head hovering in front of him.

"Ikkaku, what the hell? Too close. Just too close, damn it!"

"Heh, why are you worrying about me? Can't you hear it Kurosaki? Your death is coming."

"Huh? What the hell is your problem?"

It was hard to believe, but Ikkaku's grin got wider. "Listen. The bells. They're coming this way."

Ichigo listened and then sprang out of the chair. "Oh, crap! Where's Zangetsu? Shit! Where'd that old man get to?" He began to look around.

"I think Renji said something about putting your zanpakutou in the room he rented so you wouldn't lose it." Matsumoto was awake. She stretched and yawned, waving one hand to indicate the direction. "Down that hallway, fifth door on the right." She blinked. "The bells are getting closer. Can we have one last toast for you Kurosaki-kun?"

"Oh hell no!" Ichigo bolted down the hallway.

Ikkaku watched him go and then turned to Matsumoto. "You do know that Renji's in there with Shuuhei?"

"Hmm, really?" Matsumoto's eyes got big and round. She put one finger to her lips. "Do you think that'll be a problem?"

"I…um…well… Hey! You _did_ know, didn't you?"

"Hmm, maybe." Matsumoto shrugged and then yawned again. "I really should get my camera and maybe take a few pictures, things might get interesting with the three of them together. Hmm, maybe a little later." She settled back down and appeared to fall asleep again.

Ikkaku grimaced. "How does Captain Hitsugaya ever manage?"

-0000-

"Renji! Hey, Renji! Where's Zangetsu? I need…" Ichigo burst into the room, slapped the door shut, and surged towards the bed before the sight in front of him really registered. He slapped one hand over his eyes and staggered back until he hit the wall. "What the hell! Renji! You…naked…him…tattoos…naked! Augh!"

Shuuhei sank back on his heels, reluctant to leave the taste of Renji's skin behind. He rested his fingers on Renji's stomach, just where it met his hip, as though he was marking his spot. He should probably feel annoyed, but watching the young human, face red where it was not covered, flail his arm around as he sputtered, was actually quite amusing.

Renji propped himself up on his elbows. He gave Shuuhei a look that managed to be both apologetic and arousing. "Idiot! Didn't anyone ever teach you to knock?"

"Hah!" For a moment, Ichigo forgot about the 11th squad Captain, his sword, and the sight in front of him. "Like the way you do, when you come barging through my window?"

A grin spread across Renji's face. "That's because I know that I won't be interrupting anything. When that changes, I'll knock."

"Idiot! Where's Zangetsu?"

"Moron. Right where you left him. In the sword rack near the door."

"What? Matsumoto said you brought him in here."

"And you believed her? Idiot!"

"Jerk! Why wouldn't I?"

"Because she's evil and you're drunk. And you should always know where your sword is." Renji looked at Shuuhei. "Sorry." His gaze snapped back to Ichigo. "But the idiot's about to leave."

Shuuhei made a low noise in the back of his throat. "Is he? Look at him, looking at us. I think he might like to stay."

Ichigo felt his whole body flush and he jerked his gaze away. He had been staring from between his fingers. While Shuuhei's face was marked with scars and tattoos the rest of his body was not. His ivory skin made an amazing contrast against Renji's tan, tattooed chest and arms. Ichigo had seen portions of the tattoos before, but seeing them all at once, highlighted by flushed skin, was doing funny things to his head and belly.

Shuuhei ran his fingers across Renji's stomach muscles. "I'll bet you've wondered, Kurosaki: do they feel different, taste different?" The fingers flowed in a new direction, following the black lines down until they tangled in coarse red hair.

Renji made a low noise, half protest half groan of pleasure. It was not a good idea to tease Ichigo like that, while he was able to handle much more than the average teenager, this was probably beyond his limits. On the other hand, Renji could imagine what Shuuhei had suggested and his body liked the idea very much.

"Or if not," Shuuhei continued, almost purring, "just watch. We don't mind that at all. Right, Abarai-kun?"

He smiled down at Renji, eyes half closed and hazy, and Renji could not remember what stupid reason he had ever had for breaking it off with this man. It probably had something to do with putting all his energy into catching up with a certain noble and proving himself to Rukia.

Ichigo made another noise, it sounded like he was choking back a sob. He was clutching the wall behind him and it was hard to tell if he was trying to hold himself back or push off from it.

"Ichigo, it's…" Renji started.

"No Ken-chan, it's this way. Go left." Yachiro's high pitched giggle sounded close and so was the reiatsu spike that always accompanied Zaraki Kenpachi.

"Shit!" Ichigo's exit was as precipitous as his entrance.

Shuuhei listened to the noisy retreat, one eyebrow raised. "Is he always that loud? Not that I mind some noise." He saw the expression on Renji's face. "Do you want to go after him?"

"I…no. He'll be fine. The Captain's reiatsu's moved away…in the wrong direction of course. And Ichigo's probably already at the nearest gate."

"You're sure? Don't feel like you have to…"

"It's fine." Renji shifted, stretching his arms out and shaking out his hair so it fanned out across the sheets. He tilted his head so that the long line of his throat was exposed.

Shuuhei took a deep breath; he loved it when Renji sprawled out like that, inviting exploration. He ran his hands along Renji's thighs. "When did you get these?"

"Hmm, a while ago."

"They're amazing." Shuuhei traced the designs down and up again and then returned to Renji's stomach.

So much had changed since the last time he had done that; new tattoos and bankai for Renji, new (and some old) companions in the fight against Hollows, and betrayal and pain for them all. And yet, some things had not changed so much; Renji arched under Shuuhei's hands, urging him on with sighs and groans. He reached up to bury his hands in his sempai's hair and pulled him close.

"This was a _very_ good idea."


	3. That Same Old

Three-That Same Old Shit

"Would you hurry up! We'll never get there if you stop to look at every single blade of grass along the way."

Miri continued to peer at the greenery for a few more moments, before turning to Kankuro. "This is a vine, not grass."

"Whatever! Let's get this stupid mission over with."

Miri sighed, realizing what was really irritating Kankuro. "Are you still angry over _that_? You know he does it just to antagonize you, right?"

"I know and I'm sick of it. That fucking idiot Ibiki. Don't tell me it doesn't bother you."

"It does. It did. Two days ago."

"Humph." Kankuro's irritation lifted as he remembered. "I guess you were. You sure did put him in his place. I'll have to bring you to all the mission briefings from now on."

Miri grimaced. "That was a mistake on my part, Kankuro. The idea is to get the council to trust me, not scare them silly. We are lucky they even let us continue with this mission. You know it is important."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. This damn trip is really a test. I get it. Still," he grinned, "the look on the idiot's face was so worth it."

Miri sighed and shook her head. She had known about Kankuro's long history of disagreements with certain council members and she had been determined not to make things any worse.

I am such a hypocrite, she thought, I lectured Kankuro about keeping cool and then ran my own silly mouth off.

She sighed again. "But his reasoning…it was just so poor, and the manipulation was so obvious."

Sumisu Ibiki had watched Kankuro and Miri enter the council room for the mission briefing, distaste obvious in his expression and body language. He had resisted the arrangement at every turn, using every protest possible: Miri was not a shinobi, she was foreign, a woman, a jinchuuriki, Kankuro was not safe with her, he was not to be trusted either (he had that traitor Sasori's puppets after all), and…the list went on and on.

Kankuro scowled back at him, more out of habit than anything else, and because he did not want his nervousness to show. There was really nothing to be nervous about; he had been attending mission briefings for years.

But it's not the same, he thought, things have changed…this village, Gaara…me. For so many years I came in here with puppets on my back and my brother and sister at my side. But now…

He ran his hands over the belt around his waist that held the miniatures of his puppets. Karasu, Kuroari, Shanshouo, Benimaru and a host of others were all right at his finger tips now; thanks to the training he had received from Ebizo. Gaara was at briefing, but as Kazekage he was on the other side of the table, and Temari was off somewhere doing something diplomatic. He pulled his attention back to the meeting where Ibiki was already in full rant mode.

"…devastation gone on for too long unchecked, and now _this…_" Ibiki made a dramatic gesture. "_This _is the only response you can muster, Kazekage-sama?"

Maybe things had not changed so much after all.

"It seems like a more than appropriate response, based on the intel we have, Sumisu-san," Baki said. "Kankuro is an experienced jounin and this is a C ranked mission."

"Perhaps." Ibiki sniffed. "But _she_…"

"Just watch your damn tone," Kankuro said.

"I feel it that it is an appropriate mission for their first time out as an official team. The location of the trouble is near one of our borders near a village that has complained of neglect in the past; sending a high ranked shinobi would help silence those complaints, and it would give Miri an opportunity to see more of the land," Gaara said.

"I appreciate that Kazekage-sama, and your thrifty thinking. Three birds with one mission. Most nice," Miri said.

Several council members chuckled and nodded in agreement, but Ibiki's scowl deepened. "Typical! I see that you are following in the steps of your predecessor. You ignore your responsibilities to the daimyo and seek only to increase your power in the most obscene way possible, ignoring the death and destruction of innocents. This trouble has been going on for years and just like your…"

Kankuro growled, "That's just fucking enough! Just shut up, or I'll…"

"Or you'll what?" Ibiki turned to the rest of the council members. "Did you hear that? He's threatening us with that…that vile _creature_."

A tense silence fell over the room, several of the council members glanced in Miri's direction, holding their breaths. Gaara looked at her too and was pleased to see that she was maintaining her usual calm, although she was frowning. Gaara realized that he might be to blame for the fear he could sense from some of the men. Back in the days when he had hosted a bijuu, an accusation like Ibiki's probably would have resulted in bloodshed.

Miri's frown changed to a look of puzzlement. "Excuse me, Ibiki-san. Did you say death _and_ destruction? The mission briefing notes we received did not mention any deaths. That is the reason for the ranking it received, is it not? Please correct me if I have misinterpreted the ranking criteria."

"No, you have it right," Baki said. "This is the first of heard of it myself. I can look into it, if you like, Kazekage-sama."

"And you said 'years'. There are three incident reports in the briefing notes, going back about nine months," Miri continued.

Ibiki sniffed. "Not everything makes it into a report."

"Hmm." Miri looked down at the table. After a moment, she made a noise that Kankuro recognized as her 'men are such idiots' snort. Temari did something similar on a regular basis. "So what you are saying is that you have had knowledge of this problem for some time and you are only choosing to bring it up now?"

"That has nothing to do with…"

"It has quite a bit to do with it." Miri's voice remained low, but had taken on an edge. "You just criticized Gaara-sama for his inattention to this problem, yet you have known about it for years, apparently. The act smells of hypocrisy and also has the odour of political maneuvering." She leaned forward, eyes narrowing. "Let me remind you of the conditions of the contract I have signed. My…skills are to be used in the defense of the people of this land. Defense. Nothing else. Do not test those conditions. You will not like the result."

Kankuro grinned at the memory. "I love seeing that moron get put in his place. And you're pretty hot when you get all menacing."

"Please. Save _that_ for the return trip." Miri had turned her attention to some flowers. "I did not realize that these grew in these lands."

"Miri, c'mon…"

"Their bulbs can be used to make a potent neurotoxin."

"Oh yeah." Kankuro looked a little closer.

"I thought that might interest you." Miri grinned. "This whole area is interesting. It has a level of biodiversity that I would not expect, given the climate."

Kankuro shrugged. "It's damp and green. What's the big deal?"

"Desert rat. Anything more than a sage bush and a couple of cactuses appears verdant you."

"Very funny. Verdant? Someone's been reading the dictionary again. And it's 'cacti' not 'cactuses'."

Miri repeated the word. "Really? How strange."

"Maybe. Can we go now?"

Miri nodded. "I apologize for the delay. May we stop here again on the return trip?"

"Sure. If there's time." Kankuro grinned. "Ya know…after _that_."

"I am sure we can manage it." Miri grinned back. "The grass here appears very soft and the area is secluded."

"Sounds like a good idea. A _very_ good idea. So, let's get going."

They had not gone more than two kilometers when Miri stopped.

Kankuro saw the puzzled look on her face. "What is it _now_?"

"Here. A little ahead. It is one of those places." She waved one hand, trying to come up with the words. "They are thin here. Are you unable to feel it?"

"You're the one with the pumped up senses, not me. They?"

"The walls…the barriers between… Oh, oh…"

Now Kankuro could feel and see something. Something in the landscape ahead had shifted, and there was a noise, a low rumbling combined with a noise that reminded him of thick fabric tearing. Then the air split open in front of them, a long horizontal slash of dark that was hard to look at. The hole gaped open for a moment before it was filled and something burst through.

It moved very fast and they were left with the impression of something large, green and glowing. So green it almost hurt Kankuro's eyes to look at it.

"What the…?"

The creature was not alone. But the things that followed it looked very different. There were five or six, Kankuro was not sure, each one was a different shape and size, but all the ones he could see had the same white, boney looking face and gaping hole on their chests. They were all making horrible noises.

Miri looked over her shoulder, then grabbed Kankuro's arm. "Holy shit! Hold on!"

Another patch of blackness had opened up behind them, and before they could move, a rush of air pulled them in. Kankuro grabbed hold of Miri, getting separated would only make things go from bad to really bad, and there had been no time to do anything else. The first green creature had disappeared he noticed, but some of the other monster things had been sucked into the opening after them.

C-ranked mission, my ass, Kankuro thought before everything went black. Stupid damn council always gets it wrong.


	4. The Mornings After

Four-The Morning(s) After

Urahara tapped his fan on his cheek, resisting the urge to dance a little happy dance, but that was exactly how he felt on this fine morning. The Winter War had been brutal, no doubt about that. But, as the Western saying went 'to the victor, go the spoils' and some very interesting spoils had just been delivered to him. Of course, he would probably have to deal with Kurotsuchi once he discovered it was gone, but until then Urahara planned to indulge his curiosity to the fullest. Szayel's private stash had contained some interesting things, and one of the most intriguing was sitting in front of him, in his underground training room.

Urahara stepped closer and gave the control panel an affectionate pat; aside from the unfortunate choice in colour scheme, the machine looked promising. Perfecting the Garganta had given Aizen easy access to the real world as well as Sereitei, but apparently he had been working to create another kind of gate. Maybe he had planned to use it to find the Spirit King or perhaps to find other planes of existence to conquer.

"Or maybe he was hoping to find the perfect vacation spot." Urahara chuckled. "No matter. You are now in the hands of an enterprising and handsome business man, and we," he patted the control panel again, "are going to have a splendid time."

He fanned himself and giggled. "Now, now, where do we begin?"

A throat cleared behind him. Urahara turned to see Tessai, Jinta, and Ururu. The look on Jinta's face indicated that he did not appreciate any employer who held discussions with inanimate objects.

"Before you start, I should remind you that we are scheduled to pick up new inventory today," Tessai said.

"Yes, yes, could you take Abarai-san with you?"

"He's not here right now."

"I'll go," Jinta said.

"No, no I'm afraid you don't quite have the necessary qualifications for this job." Urahara sighed. "I suppose I must go."

"Qualifications? What the hell does that mean?" Jinta demanded. "I'm way smarter than that stupid freeloader."

"Hmm, I'm sure you are, but I was thinking of a different type of qualification." Urahara sketched the form of the tall and broad Vice-Captain with his fan.

"Huh?"

"There will be much to carry. Too much for you," Tessai said. "We should go."

"Yes, yes." Urahara fluttered his fan at his young employees. "We won't be long, you two. Please keep an eye on things. Do your chores." The fan fluttered at the large machine and its brightly coloured control panel. "And no touching the new toy."

"Yes, Kisuke-san," Ururu said.

"Humph." Jinta folded his arms and scowled at the two men as they left. "Humph, stupid freeloader." His glare shifted to the machine and his scowl deepened.

"Jinta-kun, we should get to work." Ururu held out a broom, which she had apparently conjured out of thin air.

"Hey! Who left you in charge?"

Ururu held up a second broom. "I'm going to sweep too."

She continued to hold the broom out, until Jinta snatched it away with a curse.

"We should start upstairs."

"Shut up! I'll start where I want when I'm good and ready." He approached the control panel and waved his broom at it. "And I think that maybe I might just start here. Stupid thing's all dusty and it's a dumb colour." He gave the panel a poke with his broom.

"Jinta-kun, you're not supposed to touch that." Ururu's eyes were wide. "Kisuke-san said so. It might be dangerous."

"Pfft!" Jinta smacked her with the broom. "You're still not the boss of me." He poked the panel again, this time with the stick end of the broom.

"Jinta-kun," Ururu whined.

"Humph!" Jinta whacked the panel.

Somewhere in the machine a low pitched whine started.

-0000-

A low rumbling noise woke Renji up. He squinted up at the soft light filtering through the shuttered window, trying to get a sense of place. The low rumble turned into a long sigh; Shuuhei's version of a snore. Renji grinned and relaxed. After they had finally finished rediscovering each other, Shuuhei had shifted to one side and fallen asleep. Renji could not blame him; he had passed out moments later, drained but happy.

Renji rubbed his forehead and stretched. He was pleasantly surprised to find that his morning-after-too-much-drinking headache was nothing more than a dull ache behind his eyes.

Probably sweated all the alcohol right out of my system, he thought.

He stretched again, trying to shift his legs away; they were still tangled up with Shuuhei's. Shuuhei grunted and rolled over and pushed his face into the pillow. After a moment he tilted his head and cracked an eye open.

"Umph, what time is it?"

"Not sure, early."

Shuuhei stretched until his back popped. "Your stamina has certainly improved."

"Knew all that bankai training would be good for something."

Shuuhei rolled over and sat up, running his hands through his hair. Renji grinned; the black spikes were flattened against one side of his head and swirled into a crazy mess on the other side.

"No laughing. Yours isn't any prettier."

"Still not a morning person, I see." Renji chuckled and scrubbed at his own hair. "So what's on your schedule today, Vice-Captain?"

Shuuhei thought for a moment. "Let's see: there's the six month inventory to finish, weekly attendance records to verify and approve, monthly patrol schedules to finalize, final edits to the latest edition, and some new recruits start their orientation today. How about you?"

"I'm supposed to head to the real world to help Urahara."

"Sounds interesting."

"Er, well, you never know what crazy thing he'll make me do next. And there're always Hollows popping up, or worse, and those kids are always getting into trouble, and…you know, you should really ask for some help with all that work."

"It's not that bad. Captain Hitsugaya helps out when he can." Shuuhei lay down again and put his hands behind his head. "And being busy keeps my mind off of things."

"I guess…but you can't keep on like that forever."

Shuuhei shrugged. "There'll be a new Captain sooner or later." He forced a short laugh. "Might even be you."

"Hell no! That would be too weird, and aside from having bankai, I've still got a lot to learn. But what about you? I'll bet you're pretty close to it."

Shuuhei's mouth set into a hard line. "No. Never. I will never unleash _his_ second form. Even if it means staying a Vice-Captain forever."

Renji frowned, but did not say anything. He had never been able to understand Shuuhei's relationship with his zanpakutou. Zabimaru could be difficult at times; the baboon was stubborn and cranky and the snake had a blood thirsty streak that sometimes shocked Renji, but he had never come close to feeling the utter loathing that Shuuhei had for Kazeshini.

"Ya know it might help if you talked to someone else about it. Like maybe…"

"No!" Shuuhei sat up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed, so that he had his back to Renji. "I know who you're going to suggest…don't even think about it. I know you think the world of him, but Kurosaki Ichigo is a hundred years to young to ask for advice."

"Yeah, you might be right there. He's still a kid about most things. But he's not who I was going to suggest."

Shuuhei looked over his shoulder, one eyebrow raised in surprise. "Oh? Then who?"

"That Vizard, Kensei. The one you said you knew from when you were a kid. From the way you've described him, he sounds like someone you could talk to."

Shuuhei turned around. "I don't know about that but…it might not be such a bad idea." He paused, thinking. "Maybe I will," he murmured. "Hmm, not bad at all Abarai."

"Humph, don't look so surprised," Renji grumbled. "I do have them sometimes."

Shuuhei nodded absently, still thinking about it. He was not sure if Kensei even remembered the snot nosed kid he had once saved or if he would even be interested in helping a Shinigami.

"It won't hurt to ask," he murmured. "And if we reach out to them… And of course you have good ideas." Shuuhei grinned. "Just not usually before breakfast."

"Hah. Hah." Renji glared for a moment, then began to grin; one of his big wolf-like grins. "So, if it's such a good idea…" he drawled.

"You're thinking about some sort of reward, I suppose." Shuuhei leaned across and placed one hand on either side of Renji's head.

Renji's hands curled around Shuuhei's waist, pulling him back onto the bed. "Sure would encourage me to have them more often. So, how late can you be today?"

"Hmm, a little. You?"

"Whatever crazy thing Urahara has in mind can wait."

-0000-

Rukia hurried along the hallway towards Ichigo's room, frowning at the communicator in her hand. Bright triangles flashed on the screen, indicating the presence of Hollow four kilometers away. However, there were other signals too, ones she could not make out and they were obscuring the readings, so she could not determine how many there were nor how strong they were.

"One seems strong, almost an Arrancar. And this other…" She gave the communicator a shake. "Stupid device! Stupid communications unit giving contracts to the lowest bidder and getting crap units as a result. Hey!" She stopped at Ichigo's door. "Ichigo, wake up. There's a job. Ichigo!"

She pushed the door open when there was no response. She frowned at the lump under the comforter. "Ichigo!"

The lump grunted, "Go away."

"Get up!" Rukia stomped into the room, grabbed a corner of the comforter, and pulled.

"Stop that!" Ichigo pulled back. "Too loud, damn it!"

"You're the one who's yelling. Let's go! There's a Hollow."

"If it's just one, let that Afro-san guy get it. I'm taking a sick day."

"Substitute Shinigami don't get sick leave. And besides," Rukia tugged hard and caught a glimpse of rumpled orange hair and a pale face, "you're not sick, you're hung over. Moron. I told you not to go out with those guys!"

Ichigo tugged back hard, pulling the comforter out of her hands. He curled into a ball. "Shut that thing off and go away! The noise'll have my family in here."

"It would serve you right, idiot!"

"C'mon Rukia. Please!" One brown eye appeared from under the covers, looking pathetic. "Just this once."

"Humph!" Rukia snapped the communicator closed and planted her hands on her hips. She extended her senses in the direction of the Hollow. "Lucky for you Ishida and Chad are already on their way. I'll go help them." She waved a finger at the bed. "But don't think we're done talking about this. And I'm telling Ishida why you're not coming, so you'll have to deal with him too."

"Okay, okay, whatever." A slender hand waved at her. "Just go. Thanks Rukia."

"Humph!" Rukia turned and left, being sure to slam the door.

Ichigo rolled over, pressed his face into the pillow, and groaned. He had hoped that returning to his body would lessen the pain in his head, but no such luck. A shower, water, and some ibuprofen were needed, but that would mean standing up and Ichigo was certain that leaving a horizontal position would make things much, much worse. He wrapped his arms around his head and tried not to think about the spinning and the pounding.

His headache was horrible, but it kept another problem at bay. Whenever Ichigo was able to clear his head it immediately filled with images from the previous night; red hair against flushed skin and white sheets, black ink next to ivory skin, taut muscle sliding under tanned flesh.

And then there was that husky voice: "Do they feel different, taste different? Wouldn't you like to know, Kurosaki?"

"No," he muttered into the pillow. "I don't want to know. I'm not supposed…"

_Hah! Of course you do, partner, you wonder about it and about a bunch of other things. How he would smell up close, how his hands would feel on you, and how it would taste when you…_

"Shut up!" Ichigo winced. "Not now."

He had learned to control the monster that shared his soul with Zangetsu, but maintaining control was a constant struggle. And it seemed that the Hollow took pleasure in tormenting him; not trying to get out or take control, but just reminding Ichigo that he was there, and he liked to play dirty.

_C'mon it's no big deal, chicks, guys, whatever. Just as long as you remember one thing, if you want to remain king. Just remember. It's the king that rides, not the other way around. So you'd better just forget about some of the things you have been thinking, none of that for you. You're the one who rides, and not some little u…_

"Shut the hell up!" Ichigo pushed back, forcing the crazy voice and laugh into silence. After a few moments the Hollow's presence receded, but Ichigo's headache had swelled to massive proportions. And that was not all. Ichigo rolled over and looked down. The images that had flooded his brain during his conversation with the Hollow had caused another problem.

"You've go to be kidding me!" Ichigo groaned. There was no helping it; he was going to have to go to the bathroom. He was not giving in to the Hollow and his traitorous body, and a cold shower was the surest remedy.

"Just no puking until you get there," he muttered. "What a crappy start to the day."

At least it was the weekend, he thought, so no school. All I have to do is get showered and then I can go back to sleep. Sleep and a quiet weekend, that's all I need.

-0000-

After some immeasurable time in dark and silence, they exploded back into light and sound. Once the gaping hole had spit them out, it closed; leaving no sign that it had ever been there. Kankuro could hear the creatures screaming around him, and there was some other yelling, high pitched and girlish. It was not Miri, he was sure, she did not squeal. He was still holding on to her as they hit they ground and rolled to a stop.

"You alright?" he gasped.

"Umph, get off."

Kankuro scrambled to his feet, trying to get his bearings. Off to one side he caught sight of something that looked a computer panel. It was brightly coloured and there were sparks and smoke coming out of it. Ozone scented the air along with a funny smell he could not quite place. Next to the panel, there were two kids, a boy with bright red hair and a girl with dark hair and blue eyes. The boy was yelling and whacking the panel with a broom. The girl's eyes were wide with shock.

"Jinta-kun! Hollows!" She tugged on the boy's arm.

"Get yer hands off! I see 'em. Hollows and two other freaks." The boy whirled around, brandishing the broom like a weapon. "Bring it on you freaks."

"I think he means us," Kankuro said.

"Yourself at least." Miri grinned weakly and leaned over, hands on her knees.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Miri said.

It did not look like nothing to Kankuro, her face was too pale and she was sweating. The other creatures were still swirling around and Kankuro was sure they were getting ready to attack. One was advancing on the kids and three were heading towards Kankuro and Miri.

"We have to help them, Kankuro," Miri gasped.

"Yeah, right. You look kinda shitty."

"Ah, give me a moment, little bit dizzy yet. It is the…" Miri groaned and grabbed her stomach.

Kankuro swore, his hands starting the motions that would release his puppets.

Shitty start to a shitty day, he thought. I don't know where I am, don't know what the hell I'm fighting, and my partner's busy puking up her breakfast.


	5. Not In Suna Anymore

Five- Not In Suna Anymore

Ishida watched the small, black clad form race towards him.

"Kuchiki-san," he greeted her. He looked around. "Where's Kurosaki?"

"Not coming. What is that?" Rukia pointed at the massive creature crashing along the river bank.

"I'm not sure. At first I though it might be some new kind of Hollow, but its reiatsu is all wrong."

"Aren't there any Hollows? I had readings for several."

Ishida nodded. "That's what I thought too. Hollows and possibly an Arrancar; Adjuchas class I think." He pointed. "There. They've rematerialized." He adjusted his glasses. "I was considering how to proceed, since one of the creatures is unknown. "I thought we should…"

Two of the Hollows disintegrated in a powerful explosion accompanied by a familiar roar.

"El Directo!"

Ishida sighed. It was very annoying how Sado had become so much like Kurosaki.

"Sado, take it easy," Ishida yelled at him. "We need to find out what is going on before…"

"Ishida! Move it!"

Rukia grabbed his mantle and pulled him out of the way. The huge creature had turned and charged right at them, moving with an incredible speed for its size. Ishida tried to get a reading on it. He needed to do that and to assess the situation so he could decide on a plan of action.

The creature looked familiar; horrifyingly familiar. It had a long segmented body with a pair of legs on each segment. It was bright green with spots that were an even more lurid shade of green. The one thing that gave Ishida some hope was that its head resembled a regular caterpillar (albeit one the size of a small car) and not the freakish Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō.

"Is that Konjiki Ashisogi Jizō?" Rukia gasped.

"I don't think so," Ishida said. He watched the body flow by and realized something. "It's not attacking us."

Two Hollows raced by them, followed by two others that Ishida guessed were Adjuchas class. Ishida frowned, they looked familiar to him.

"They're chasing that big green thing," Rukia said. She drew her zanpakutou and started after one of the Hollows.

"Indeed." Ishida summoned his bow and took aim at the others. He would leave the strange creature for last. He wanted to observe it a little more so he could try and figure out what it was.

The remaining Hollows did not stand a chance against the battle seasoned Shinigami, Quincy, and human. Once they were defeated, Ishida took off after the monster caterpillar with Rukia right behind him. They did not get very far when a gate opened and the creature bolted through it.

"What was that? It wasn't a Garganta." Rukia frowned at the spot where the creature had disappeared. She took out her communicator and flipped it open. "The readings are all weird."

Sado had caught up to them. He gasped for a few moments, getting his wind back. "What was that?"

Ishida shook his head. "I don't know. It wasn't a Senkaimon. Right?"

"Definitely not." Rukia was frowning at her communicator. She made a frustrated noise and shook the device. "Again? Oooh, stupid thing. More strange readings."

"Where?"

"It looks like…" Rukia's eyes widened in alarm. "Urahara's! Let's go!"

-0000-

"Any time now, Miri!" Kankuro yelled.

He had launched Karasu and Kuroari into the air. Both puppets were firing knives and needles, but they were having little effect on the creatures. They were hitting their targets and Kankuro could see something he thought was blood, but they were not slowing down much.

"You idiot," one of the kids, the boy, yelled. "Break the mask!"

"Huh? Mask? What the hell?"

Jinta growled in frustration, the two human-looking freaks were so stupid. He brandished his broom like a sword, demonstrating. "Break. The. Mask."

"Jinta-kun," Ururu said.

The tone of her voice made Jinta pause, it sounded wrong. Ururu's eyes were wide, pupils dilating and contracting in pulses. Jinta realized that it was a reaction to the gates and the sudden appearance of the two strangers and their weird reiatsu. It was all making a mess of Ururu's sensors.

"Jinta-kun," she said again. This time she sounded alarmed. Her eyes had focused on something above and behind Jinta.

A Hollow had snuck behind him and was rearing to attack, clawed hands extended. Jinta grabbed Ururu and tried to dive out of the way. Claws hissed through the air above his head and Jinta tensed, expecting to feel the impact on his back. Instead there was a screech of metal on metal.

"Excuse me, but by mask do you mean the boney structure on its face?" said an accented voice above him.

Jinta looked over his shoulder. It was the woman. She had engaged the Hollow's claws with a sword. Jinta blinked, one second she had just been standing there, throwing up, and the next she had appeared beside them. Jinta glanced at the sword. It was a double edged Western style weapon. It was holding up against the Hollow's claws, but Jinta was pretty sure it was not a zanpakutou.

"Hmm, I shall give it a try," she said, before Jinta could reply. "Perhaps you two should retreat."

With a fluid shrug she disengaged from the Hollow and took a few steps back. It refocused on its new target and then lunged. Her blade rose up to meet the attack, turning away at the last moment to cut at the Hollow's arms. Severed limbs flew through the air. This overbalanced the Hollow and it crashed face first to the ground, screaming in rage and pain. The sword kept going up and, with barely a pause at the apex of the swing, came down again. This time it sliced through the creature's mask.

The Hollow disintegrated. Jinta stared in amazement. It had been a textbook strike, but he was sure the stranger was not a Shinigami, or a Quincey, or even whatever that Sado guy was.

"What the…" he started.

"Kankuro, did you see that?" the woman called over to the strange looking guy.

Jinta was pretty sure it was a guy. He was all dressed in black and looked sort of like a special ops type, except he was wearing purple make up and a funny looking black hat with a metal bar set across the forehead. And even weirder he seemed to be fighting the Hollows with two large mannequins. The mannequins had several pairs of jointed arms; one had three eyes and shaggy hair while the other had a long round face and red horns.

"Yeah, yeah, got it. Smash their faces. Get those brats out of the way."

Kankuro switched tactics; he had both puppets circle one of the smaller creatures. Kuroari swooped in, providing a distraction and then Karasu dove down firing bombs as he went. Explosions seemed to work just as well as a blade, so Kankuro moved on to the next creature. He could hear Miri somewhere nearby, trying to get the two kids to safety. He had killed two more of the things by the time she joined him.

"That's three for me. Are the brats out of the way? This last bastard's pretty big."

"It does appear to be immune to explosives. The children have moved to a safer distance. The boy finds the term 'brat' objectionable."

"Hah, if the name fits… Damn, this isn't working." Kankuro thought a moment. "I've got an idea. Can your sword take out that big mask-thing?"

"If I could reach it."

"Okay. We'll share this last one."

"Share? How do you plan…?" Miri's eyes widened; she had realized what Kankuro meant to do. "Perhaps not _that_, Kankuro. I am still a bit queasy from the…"

Kuroari swooped around and scooped up Miri before she had a chance to finish her protest. Kankuro reached into a pouch, and moments later had summoned Benimaru. The red haired puppet joined the fray, aiming short bursts of flame at the creature's legs.

"Watch the hands!" Miri yelped and smacked the side of Kuroari's head.

Kankuro grinned. The whole situation was completely fucked up, but that did not mean he could not have a little fun.

Jinta stuck his head out from behind a pile of rocks. The strange girl had dragged them there before going back to join the freaky looking guy. Now there were three mannequins circling the final Hollow, a huge one with two pairs of arms and a long pointed snout. One of the mannequins was carrying the girl while the others were circling it and firing weapons at it. The horned mannequin flew up above the Hollow, when it reached a point right above and slightly behind it dropped the girl and joined the others in weapons fire.

Jinta stepped out from behind the rock. "You idiot!" he yelled at the guy. "What the hell are you doing?"

If the guy had heard Jinta, he was ignoring him. Jinta clenched his fists and was about to run over to the idiot and administer a swift kick somewhere painful, when the fight recaptured his attention. The girl had dropped on top of the Hollow and had drawn her sword again. She reversed her grip and drove the blade straight down into the top edge of the Hollow's mask.

"Wait! You won't be able to…"

But it appeared that she was able. Her blade sank about half its length before she twisted it. There was a loud crack and a split appeared along the mid-line of the mask. She pulled the sword free and then drove it back down a second time, further along the line of the crack and twisted again. The mask broke in two and the Hollow began to disintegrate. She dove off and into the waiting arms of the horned mannequin. It dropped her down beside the guy.

"Who's the puppet master?" Kankuro grinned at her.

Miri gestured at the gate and its control panel. "And what of this?"

"Coming right up. Let's get the hell out of this place."

Kankuro walked over to the panel and ran his hands over it, frowning over the still warm plastic. It was dotted with dents and scorch marks.

"Looks like someone…"

"Hey freak! Leave that alone!" The red headed kid was running towards them.

Jinta shook his fist at the guy. "That's not yours, idiot."

"Get lost brat."

"Are you or your sister injured?" Miri asked.

"She's not my sister! What idiot would think that? Hey! I said…"

Kankuro scowled at the panel and then at the kid. He was starting to figure out what had happened. He pointed at the panel. "You did this didn't you?" He stooped and picked up a broom. "What the hell were you doing?" He gave the broom an angry shake and stepped closer to the kid.

Jinta raised his fists. "I didn't do anything! And bring it on, freak. I'll take you and all your stupid dolls no problem."

"Ah, maybe we…" Miri started.

"Don't call them dolls!" Kankuro growled. He tossed the broom aside and grabbed Jinta by the front of his shirt.

"Hands off freak!" Jinta yelled and kicked at Kankuro's knees. "And they _are _dolls! Stupid dolls!"

"Oh, yeah. I'll show you stupid, brat." Kankuro gave the kid a shake. A close look at Kuroari's inner workings would shut the brat up.

"Hey! Put him down!" Someone yelled.

Three people had appeared. Kankuro was not sure from where; it was like they had dropped out of the sky. The one who had yelled was a small woman dressed in a black kosode and hakama. The other two were guys; one was very tall and the other was very slender and dressed all in white. The big guy was charging at them, Kankuro could see some sort of weapon forming around his right arm.

"Damn it. Now what?" Kankuro shook Jinta again. He frowned at the three newcomers. "That's some damn weird chakra they've got."

"Indeed. Maybe let the child down. They think you intend him harm."

"That's because I do. This little shit's the reason why we're here."

Jinta squawked a protest and kept kicking at Kankuro.

"Perhaps. What should we do? They are getting closer."

"Shut 'em down. Then ask some questions."

"Good. Like how we get out of this bizarre room."

"Huh?"

"This," Miri waved her arms, "is not Suna and it is not outside. I will take the big fellow. The woman's sword is not a normal weapon and the third one…that thing he is wearing…is that what you call a mantle?"

"Yeah."

"How bizarre."

"Damn right. Go get 'im Miri."

Miri nodded and then was gone.

Kankuro let Jinta go and pushed him aside. "Don't run off too far, brat. I'm not finished with you yet."

Jinta protested, but the big guy with the dolls ignored him. He jumped off the platform, fingers flying in a series of complicated gestures. The three dolls rose into the air and flew off in different directions.

Sado ran straight at the intruders. They were not the Hollows Rukia's communicator had indicated, but they were menacing Jinta. He held his right arm out, letting his armour flow into place. He would direct his first blow at the woman and let Kuchiki and Ishida worry about separating the black clad man from Jinta. He thundered closer, gathering force for the blow. The guy did not appear to have any weapons, while the woman had a sword strapped to her back, but she was not making any move to draw it. In fact, neither seemed too concerned about the large man bearing down on them. He was close enough to hear it when she made some comment about Ishida's clothes.

Then she turned around, and the next thing Sado knew, she was right in front of him. Before he could even think of what to do, she had sidestepped, avoiding his rush altogether. He twisted around, feet skidding in the dirt, his fist hooking up and down again. But his blow did not connect. She had knocked his punch aside, redirecting the force into the ground. She stepped forward and thrust her hands forward, hitting him square on the sternum. There had been almost no wind up to the blow, but the next thing he knew, Sado was flying backwards. He was not feeling any pain. Yet. What he was feeling was a sense of déjà vu. The expression on the woman's face had been similar to the one on Captain Kyouroku's when he had defeated Sado; a mix of regret and amusement.

Rukia looked over one shoulder. Sado sailed by and smashed hard into a pile of rock. He slid down to the ground and did not move.

"Sado!"

Rukia took a deep breath and focused ahead. Ishida would help Sado. She needed to help Jinta. The male intruder had released the boy and was watching her, a big grin on his purple painted face. Rukia frowned, if he was with some special ops unit, it was one she did not know. And the woman was most definitely not a Shinigami.

"They're human," she muttered. Once upon a time, meeting humans with such strange, strong reiatsu who could see Shinigami would have confused her, but since meeting Kurosaki Ichigo, it seemed to happen on a regular basis. Before that night, she would never have drawn her sword on a human, but now she did not hesitate.

"Who are you? What are you doing?" Rukia demanded. "Where's Urahara? Give up and I won't hurt you."

They guy laughed, he did not look or sound very old to Rukia, maybe in his late teens or early twenties. "_You'll _hurt _me_." The grin got wider. "Now that I'd like to see. What're you gonna do? Whack my shins with your little sword?"

Rukia felt her face go red, but she was not going to let some human get the better of her. "This is your last warning. Surrender now."

"In your dreams. Bring it on shorty." The guy flicked his fingers and a kunai appeared in one hand.

Rukia raised her sword; the guy was done insulting her. She could hear Ishida talking to the woman behind her. Rukia did not know how the two strangers had gotten into the training grounds, but she was pretty sure that they were not strong enough to survive an attack from Sode no Shirayuki. She did not want to kill them, so she decided to try another approach.

She removed one hand from her sword and made several quick signs. "Way of Binding number one."

A line of crackling energy surrounded the intruder, pinning his arms to his sides.

"I have immobilized you. If you stay quiet, I won't hurt you," Rukia said.

"And if I do this." The guy started to twist and strain against the binding spell. "Just what will you do to hurt me?"

Rukia gestured and the bindings tightened further.

The guy's grin increased. "That tickles a little." He took a step forward. "So, what else you got up your sleeves?"

Rukia's eyes widened, the guy was stronger than she had first thought. She applied more reiatsu to the spell. The intruder's arms were twisted high behind his back and Rukia could hear joints creaking. But, much to her dismay, the guy kept on moving forward, twisting hard against the bonds.

"Stop moving. You'll hurt yourself."

"Oh? You're worried about hurting me with this lame ass jutsu? You should be more concerned about yourself, short stuff."

He took another step forward, his grin so wide that it almost touched his ears. There was a strange look in his eyes that was starting to make Rukia nervous. Something was not quite right with him. He twisted hard, lurching to one side and there was a loud crack. It sounded as though something had broken.

"Stop it! I'll…" Rukia gasped and took an involuntary step back.

The intruder's face and body had shifted and twisted to unnatural angles. His eyes were literally spinning in his head above that horrible grin. The intruder moved closer and Rukia could hear a strange clicking noise coming from him. Something moved at the stranger's side and the next thing she knew, Rukia was batting away a kunai. A moment later she realized what had happened. The guy had grown another pair of arms and thrown the weapon at her. His whole body began to shake violently, dispelling her kido. As it shook it began to change, and moments later Rukia could see that it was not the intruder at all, but a large puppet with shaggy brown hair.

She heard a noise off to her right and whirled around just in time to bat away another kunai. The intruder was standing there on a pile of rocks; cocky grin on his face and weapons filling his hand.

Rukia realized what she was seeing. "You're controlling them! But how did you get over there?"

"Pretty stupid of you to look away at your buddy while you were charging at me. Tons of time to pull a switch with Karasu." He shook his head. "You sword users. Most of you never pay any attention beyond the reach of your blade."

The puppet threw another kunai at her. Rukia sliced it away and backed up a few steps so she could keep an eye on puppet and puppeteer. She shifted her grip on the sword. She did not really want to do it, but it looked like she was going to have to use Sode no Shirayuki.

The intruder made a slight gesture and the puppet rose into the air. Rukia shifted back a little more.

"I did warn you," she said.

"Yeah, whatever. Thanks ever so much. And thanks for that last step back. You're in the perfect spot now."

Rukia frowned. "What?"

The intruder just kept on grinning, but there was a smug aspect to it now. He flicked his fingers again. Rukia glanced at the puppet, but it remained motionless, hovering a few meters off the ground.

"Hope you're not afraid of the dark."

There was a rush of air behind her. Rukia looked up to see another puppet descending on her. As it crashed down two panels swung open to reveal a dark cavity in its torso. Rukia barely had time to cover her head before she was swallowed by the darkness.

Ishida skidded to a stop and turned towards Sado's landing spot, but before he got more than a couple of steps he was confronted by the girl. Out of the corner of one eye Ishida could see another puppet fly towards Sado. It had some sort of weapon built into its hand and was pointing it at Sado.

"Hey!"

The girl raised one hand. "No harm will come to him, as long as he does not move. Same for you."

Ishida sniffed and adjusted his glasses. "You sound very confident about that." He nodded his head in the direction of the other stranger. "Bunraku puppeteer. Some shinobi used to use their techniques as part of their art. But using reiatsu to control them is impressive."

"Reiatsu?" the woman sounded the word out, a puzzled look on her face.

"It appears that you are not Shinigami."

"Shinigami?" Her puzzled look deepened.

"Where's Urahara-san? What are you doing?"

The girl repeated the shop keeper's name, in the same deliberate manner. Ishida was beginning to think she was a little slow.

"Urahara-san," she said again. "By the mode of address I am guessing that you do not mean the boy. We have met no one else. We are trying to leave."

"Leave? What do you mean?"

"You asked what we are doing. That is the answer."

Ishida frowned; this was one strange girl. "Leave Jinta alone, let the others go, and tell me why you are here. Are you from Hueco Mundo?"

"Hueco Mundo?" Miri repeated. The young man in white almost seemed to be speaking a foreign language. It was a little strange; she had been able to understand the boy. "I do not know what that is. We are here by accident. As for letting people go…" she shrugged. "Just as soon as we are ready to leave. The boy, Jinta." Her expression turned sheepish. "I apologize for that. Kankuro is not overly fond of children. So please, just bear with it for a few minutes. Kankuro will fix the machine and we will be on our way."

Miri looked over her shoulder and took a quick survey of the situation, then extended her senses farther so she could make a more thorough assessment. She sighed. The distractions were not over quite yet. Someone else was coming, and judging by their aura, it was someone with power on a different level than the three they had already met.

Strong enough to be interesting, she thought. Well, I will need something to do while Kankuro fixes that machine. This guy is moments away from getting a big hug from Karasu and the new guy should arrive just after that.

She refocused on the white clad teenager. He adjusted his glasses and drew himself up to his full height. Miri could tell that he had made his own assessment of the situation and she was pretty sure that she would not like his chosen course of action.

He extended one arm straight out, flicking his fingers in a dramatic gesture. A delicate silver charm dangled from his wrist.

"I don't think I can allow that. Shinigami may be my enemies, but I can't let you harm the children." He swung his arm in front of him, preparing to form his bow.

"Hmm, the circled cross, how lovely." Miri wrinkled her nose. "You do realize that waving that thing at me is not going to have any effect?"

"No, but," Ishida concentrated, "my Ginrei Kojaku will, unless you let Rukia and Sado go right now. I can fire 1,200 arrows at once. There's no way you can dodge them all."

"Not planning to dodge them." She gestured with her chin at something behind Ishida.

At first Ishida was just going to ignore her, and treat her gesture as an attempt at distraction, but then he heard a noise. A faint clicking. Ishida whipped his head around just in time to get a close up view of shaggy brown hair surrounding three eyes and a large wooden grin. The puppet's arms wrapped around him and pinned his arms to his side. The momentum of the attack and Ishida's attempts to wiggle free brought them crashing to the ground.

Miri stepped out of their way. Kankuro moved Karasu to sit beside Kuroari. Thumps and yelling could be heard from inside the horned puppet's torso. Sado was still on the ground, the business end of a flame thrower millimeters away from his nose.

"Can you manage all of them and still make the repairs?" Miri asked. "Do you need help?"

"I got this. You get that new guy." Kankuro moved back to the damaged panel. "People just keep dropping out of the sky, looking for fights," he muttered. "It's like some really stupid action movie."

The two brats had disappeared, which was good in Kankuro's opinion. But they had probably gone to get reinforcements, which was not so good.

"Okay you ugly piece of crap, let's see what makes you tick." He placed one hand on the panel and sent chakra strings into it, using them to map out the circuits and assess the damage.

Miri trotted ahead. She wanted to put some space between Kankuro and her next opponent. She suspected that this next match might stir up some debris and she did not want it to damage the machine further or distract Kankuro.

When she had put enough space between them, she tucked her thumbs into her belt and waited. "Oh me, oh my," she murmured. "Look at that. Now, there is a thing you do not see every day."

The newcomer skidded to a halt and drew his sword. "What have you done to Rukia? Let them go! Who the hell are you? Are you from Hueco Mundo?"

Hueco Mundo. Miri frowned. That strange phrase again.

"I do not know who Rukia is. We will let them go when we are ready to leave. My name is Miri, and I do not know what a 'Hueco Mundo' is. Please do not wave your sword at me."

The newcomer snarled, "Let them go or I'll do a hell of a lot more than wave it." He ran one hand along the blade. "Howl, Zabimaru!"

Renji sliced his zanpaktou at the intruder, retracted it and slashed again.

She's fast, he thought. But I can follow her, no problem. No matter what kind of attack she has, I can follow her.

He was not sure if it was some sort of shunpo, but whenever she put on a burst of speed she would almost disappear. However, he trained with the fastest Shinigami in all of the 13 Protection Squads so he knew exactly what to do.

He finished a series of strikes and retracted Zabimaru. "This is your last chance. Let them go, now."

The intruder made a tsking noise. "Were you not listening? Maybe you cannot understand. If so, I apologize. We are not trying to cause trouble. Believe me, Ruadh, all we want to do is leave."

Miri looked over her shoulder. Kankuro was working away, grumbling curses. It seemed that repairs would not be finished any time soon. Miri sighed, as much as she hated long winded fights, it would be the best way to keep her opponent occupied and not cause too much damage.

Kankuro's not the only one who can trash talk, she thought. And I am guessing that it will not be too hard to find buttons to press with this guy. But where to start; that hair, the ink, or that extravagant sword.

Miri could never quite see way anyone would want to use a sword that became something else and alter the simple purity of steel and edge.

"Look, I have had enough of people waving strange weapons at me. Unless you want to have one of your little fangs clipped, just stand down."

Renji laughed. "I'd like to see you try it." He gestured at the sword strapped to her back. "I can tell that's not a zanpaktou. Does it even have a name?"

"Zanpaktou?" She made a face as she tried out the unfamiliar word. "I am not sure what that is supposed to mean. And as for having a name…" She drew her sword, holding it out so Renji could see the blade. He had to admit it was a beautiful weapon; double edged in the western style, but Renji could tell that it had no soul and no other form.

"Why does it need to be called something else? It is what it is, made for one purpose only. No point in calling it other than it is." She grinned. "You men with your silly names for your oversized toys. Sounds like you are compensating for something."

Renji growled. He realized that she was messing with him, trying to make him launch a reckless attack. Instead, he tried to emulate his Captain. "Only a truly uncivilized person would think that way. Are you this disrespectful of all your opponents?"

"Ah, look at you, trying to take the high road, Ruadh. Most cute. I would not have taken you for the principled type. Something tells me that you are just dying to charge at me with everything you have. Come now, this is a fight not a tea party."

Renji opened his mouth to say something, but the woman charged at him, her movements a blur. She was inside his guard in a flash. Once he was in shikai fighting at close range became difficult. Zabimaru was a medium to long range weapon that relied on its offensive power to keep opponents from attacking. Renji felt her pass by him and whirled around, whipping Zabimaru after her. She held her blade to block the attack, letting the segments clatter along the flat of the blade until the attack finished.

Renji felt a sting on the side of his face and a moment later there was a crack. His glasses slipped from his forehead and he could feel blood trickle down the side of his face.

"Damn it! Not again! I just got them!"

"My, but those are some weird eyebrows you have there, Ruadh. How drunk were you?"

Renji growled. The girl grinned. Somewhere behind them, something caught on fire and the smell of burnt plastic and ozone wafted through the air.

"Lousy foreign piece of shit!" Kankuro snarled.

He looked up from the panel. Miri was still messing with the redheaded guy with the jointed sword. The kids had disappeared and the others were still guarded by Kankuro's puppets. Kankuro had a suspicion that the kids had gone to find yet more help. As much as he hated to retreat from a fight, he realized that they were not going back to their world in the same way they had arrived. Therefore, it was time to get out of there before the situation escalated any further. Everyone they had met so far immediately concluded that they were intruders of some sort.

"Probably from that Hueco Mundo place, where ever the hell that is," Kankuro muttered. He jumped off the platform, reaching into the pouches on his belt. "This isn't happening Miri. We'll have to find another way home."

Miri flapped one hand at him without taking her eyes off of her opponent. "Got it covered."

Renji scowled at the guy. He ignored the girl and kept advancing. He had taken something out of the pouches and tossed it on the ground. Several small round balls bounced by Renji. As they rolled, they started to unfold. Moments later Renji was facing more than a dozen wooden dolls. Each one was carrying a weapon. Their faces were covered in complex designs executed in the same colour as the design on the male intruder's face.

"The Dragon's Teeth? That is not necessary or fair, Kankuro. Look at him. He is on the verge of being interesting."

"Yeah, yeah, but right now we don't have time for fair."

Renji whipped Zabimaru around in a circle; he was surrounded by the dolls. His sword smashed through the first row, but others stepped in to take their place. In moments he was surrounded.

"Ah, sorry, but we have to go, I guess."

"I don't think so." Renji collected himself and concentrated a moment. "Bankai!"

Kankuro snorted. "Really? That's all you got?"

The girl watched Zabimaru transform. "Most interesting. But you are not the only one with tricks up his sleeves."

She concentrated a moment and Renji could feel a spike in the energy in the room; it was not reiatsu exactly (and he was not skilled enough to really tell what she had done and her sword had not changed at all), but he could almost see the power shimmering around her.

"Do not blink, you might miss it," she said and raised her sword.

"Sing, Benihime!"

Miri skidded to a halt in front of the crimson coloured swath of energy.

"Hey! I could've handled it," Renji protested.

"I'm sure that you can Abarai-san." Urahara stepped out from behind a pile of rocks. "But first I would like you to help out with the merchandise we brought back with us." He turned and waved his fan at the two strangers. "Hello, good day. Would you be interested in some tea and conversation?"

"What the fuck?" Kankuro muttered. He looked at Miri.

Miri eyed the man in the strange hat, and then poked at the barrier with her sword. "Most interesting." She stepped back and sheathed her sword. "We are most decidedly not in Suna anymore, Kankuro."


End file.
